tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Girls should come with a carfax report
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
