Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
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