3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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