the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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