onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
