I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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