dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
