Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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