He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Rumble strips road head = magical
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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