How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
