I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
