She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
