The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
