Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
