Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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