Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
