Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
he puts the penis in happiness.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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