drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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