I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
