i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
and you fell through a lawn chair
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
