I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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