She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
