If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
