I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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