No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
