I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
