You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
