I think I just saw someone hide a body.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
are you so shy because you have an std?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
