i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
