He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
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Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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