He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
