i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
