You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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