Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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