I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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