ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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