their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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