I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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