I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
