You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
