I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
