they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
