Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
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