If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
