I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize