from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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