we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
