Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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