I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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