I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
