five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
no you cant smoke seaweed
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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