Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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