I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
