I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
