apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
