I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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