this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
