HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
