he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
