brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
