From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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